Embarrassing

This is what I've decided. I can be a very self conscious person. Yep its true. I'm not always full of confidence like I pretend to be. The times when I'm most often self conscious is around guys. In the summer before 9th grade I started dating my 3rd boyfriend, but what I like to think of as my first real relationship. I never ever ate in front of him. EVER! To the point where if I was eating something and he walked up, even if I wasn't finished, I would throw it away. How ridiculous is that? Pretty dang if you ask me. My sophomore year when I started dating my next boyfriend the eating thing stuck. But then something new emerged. I met my boyfriend in choir and so once we started dating I refused to sing in front of him. I just about killed my grades with this. If I ever stood next to him I would lip sync the whole time. For our final exams we had to sing in quartets and because that's a small enough group that people could hear me I wouldn't sing, and then I'd get a crappy grade on my exam.

Last night I walked Chey out and we were standing by my car. He was trying to mess with me and I flinched out of the way and smacked my head into my car antenna! How embarrassing, he could not stop laughing at me. This is only one of the many embarrassing things I do in front of him. But, unlike the usual me, it doesn't bother me. I feel so comfortable around him. It's not like I throw everything out the window, I still try my best to..impress I guess would be the best word. But life happens, embarrassing things happen, and I just let them. It's funny and it gives him something to tease me about later. And everyone knows teasing = love. Anyways, I'm glad that I've finally found someone that I don't have to feel so self conscious around. Thankfully he likes me just for me, for my crazy, random, clumsy, fatty, horrible driving self.